A divorce brings a lot to bear, especially if there are children involved. Research from Statistics Netherlands (CBS) shows that three-quarters of parents continue to live within 10 kilometers of each other after the divorce. This offers children the opportunity to have both parents close by, but it also raises the question: can I move? This decision depends on several factors. In this blog post, we discuss the emotional and legal aspects of moving with children after a divorce, so you can be well-prepared for this step.
Moving with children after divorce, this is how it works in practice
When parents of elementary school children decide to divorce, they often remain close to each other. It's important to consider the impact of moving on your children. Consider longer commutes, school changes, and the shift in their social circle. A move shortly after divorce can bring about many changes in a short time.
In practice, it turns out that parents often move further apart after a few years. Three years after the divorce, approximately 40% of parents live more than 10 kilometers apart. This can be because they move in with a new partner, but also because they want to be closer to family or a new job.
The ex-partner does not agree with the move
If your ex-partner opposes the move, you can make new arrangements through a mediator. If this doesn't work, you can ask the judge for a decision. The judge will always base their decision on the best interests of the child.
When making a decision, the judge looks at various factors, such as:
- The need for the move, for example because of work.
- How well the move has been prepared, including the division of care tasks.
- The willingness of both parents to cooperate.
- The options for continuing the contact arrangement in the new situation.
- The continuity of care tasks for the children.
- The age of the children and their opinions; children aged 12 and over can be heard by the judge.
- Any additional costs of the move and visitation arrangements, and whether financial compensation is possible.
- If the move occurred without permission, the judge may decide that the parent must move back or that the children must live with the other parent. Therefore, always consult with your ex-partner.
How do you make a move with children after a divorce as smooth as possible?
Om de verhuizing voor je kinderen zo soepel mogelijk te laten verlopen, is het belangrijk hen actief bij het proces te betrekken. Laat ze bijvoorbeeld helpen met het inpakken van hun spullen of het inrichten van hun nieuwe kamer. Dit geeft ze een gevoel van controle en betrokkenheid, wat kan helpen om de overgang minder stressvol te maken. Behoud daarnaast zoveel mogelijk hun dagelijkse routines, zoals bedtijden en gezinsmaaltijden, om een gevoel van stabiliteit te bieden in deze onzekere periode. Een professioneel verhuisbedrijf kan het praktische deel uit handen nemen, zodat jij je volledig kunt richten op je kinderen.
Communicate openly with your children
During a move after a divorce, it's also important to communicate openly with your children. Involve them in the process by taking their questions and concerns seriously. Explain why the move is happening and what it means for them. This can help dispel any ambiguities and fears. Encourage your children to share their feelings and allow room for their emotions, so they feel heard and supported. Open conversations can help children adjust to the changes more easily.
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